I’m changing it up. I used to blog about motorcycles and work and urban planning and other things I thought people might be interested in. It was fun, and I had some passion for it, but just went off the rails eventually, quietly…
What I’m figuring out, though, is that, as I near the start of another decade for me, is that I’ve been living my life according to a set of fabricated rules. I get that it’s important to follow the laws of the land, to not steal, kill, or lie, the usual. But there is another set of rules I’ve been living by:
- Societal pressure to do or don’t do certain things, and
- Behaviors I somehow subconsciously decided were rules for myself
When I add up all those rules, I ultimately haven’t been myself. I’ve been just another nondescript person in the world, just another fleck in the static of life.
There are a very select few people I’ve let in beyond that set of rules. And even then, I hold back to some extent, seeking to personify perfection against that fabricated set of rules.
It’s amazing how little sense that makes when laid out “on paper”.
But I bet I’m not alone. Billions of other flecks in the static.
I’d be willing to bet that, instead of static, humanity is supposed to look like a carefully-woven tapestry – all because each of us is choosing to express the true self.
If you’ve ever looked closely at a tapestry, you’ll notice that, where solid colors appeared at a distance, up close there is a wide variation in color and texture. Doesn’t that sound like humanity? Meyers-Briggs has 16 different personality types, but endless variations on how those personalities are expressed. There are millions of color shades, heights, weights, opinions, backgrounds, genetic and epigenetic combinations, just to name a few.
Now, I’m not going to go down the “Everyone needs to accept everyone else no matter what” path – although I believe that. Instead, we all need to accept our true self and be willing to bravely let it out to the world. If more of us do that, I think there will be more acceptance of others as a result.
I don’t know where I will eventually go with writing and creativity in the future, but here’s what I do know:
- I am going to betray and expose some of those “rules” and lies I, and many others, believe.
- I am going to do my best to create (and share that creation) many times each week – whether anyone reads it or not.
- I am probably going to say some uncomfortable things – they’re probably going to be more uncomfortable for me than for those reading.
- I am going to write about what matters to me, not what will give me good metrics. I can do that elsewhere…
Toni says:
Sounds like the first phase is a cleansing phase. Hang tough! And you will find true externals and nuggets. Love and hugs…. Toni